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I feel destructive

Journal Entry: Fri Apr 27, 2007, 7:57 PM
I want to tear everything down and just start over.
Particularly with my art. With this gallery.

I feel as if the communication gap between me and the rest of the world is more of a crevasse, the two parts being pulled further and further a part. It's so deceptive, I keep on thinking that I'm communicating, or understanding and out from under me the bottomless pit strikes again!
I long to portray what I see in a way that others can understand. To be an artist that I would admire. To make art that leaves me breathless and anguished just by looking at it. To be so much more than simply clever.

I cannot believe how long I have stood up for my fellow visual artists with out knowing that the criticisms they faced were fully justified. The lack of morality in creating visual concepts horrifies me. The lack of inspiration, the lack of simple interest in anything beyond color and shape. The self-centeredness and the cult of the gimmick.

I came to visual art wanting to tell stories. Always stories first. I want to create a tomorrow, a world that I want to be a part of. Everything is designed and I want to design it, to find my perfection, my niche and my people. I always had this concept that people thought in some sort of similar way. How was I supposed to know that the idea of animation being paintings brought to life was so alien? That the view of illustration as visual story telling so unique? How could I know having stories... that being a story teller, was strange?

I know I am not yet at the point where I can justifiably make these complaints. Not successful enough, not with enough work or even THE work to back me. But I plan to someday be, hope to someday be, in a position where I can say these things and it can be viewed as something more than just teenage anx.

  • Mood: Pirate
  • Watching: Dylan Moran

Devious Information

  • Current Age: 20
  • Current Residence: Behind my minds eye
  • Interests: Animation, Film, Illustraition, World domination, Writing, Dreams
  • Favourite movie: Jan Svankmajer's Lunacy
  • Favourite band or musician: Tiger Lillies
  • Favourite genre of music: Alternative Freak Show Circus Cabaret
  • Favourite artist: Dave Mckean
  • Favourite poet or writer: Neil Gaiman
  • Favourite style of art: Narative Surrealism
  • Skin of choice: Blue
  • Favourite game: Mrs. Pac Man
  • Favourite cartoon character: Betty Boop
  • Personal Quote: Only fools quote others, and only egomaniacs quote themselves.
  • Tools of the Trade: Hands... atleast as long as they are attached

deviantART Notice

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Devious Comments

~bandini:iconbandini: Jan 10, 2008, 8:46:39 AM
A very interesting gallery.

And... Well... The Tiger Lillies, Dave McKean, Neil Gaiman, Surrealism... Very good taste too :)

Welcome to my DevWatch !
~NicksServantFiore:iconNicksServantFiore: Apr 26, 2007, 4:53:24 PM Mood: Amazed
O_O wow the expression and meaning in most of your gallery is so deep and thought-provoking. your paintings are absolutly beautiful with such detail and variety of shades. I love your work.

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May the light and sky shine above you for many wishes you may have close to your heart. You deserve it ^_~

(\__/)
( -'.'-)This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your
(")_(")signature to help him gain world domination
~prayingforrain:iconprayingforrain: Nov 11, 2006, 12:11:44 AM
Yes, I will. I have to go to Oklahoma at some point but other than that I'll be home the whole time.

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Live. Dream. Forget.
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:spidey: PrayingForRain :batman:
~littledormy:iconlittledormy: Nov 10, 2006, 9:02:05 PM
not for thanxgiving but I will be home in time for magic trees! I assume you will be around then also?

--
We create because we were created.
We die to avoid stagnation.
~prayingforrain:iconprayingforrain: Nov 10, 2006, 7:51:26 PM
It's so lovely that you're on here. I haven't seen much of your work in a long time except for the stuff that was just around your house.

Are you going to be home around Thanksgiving? Or Christmas?

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Live. Dream. Forget.
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:spidey: PrayingForRain :batman:
~prayingforrain:iconprayingforrain: Nov 10, 2006, 7:34:27 PM Mood: Affection
Hey you :hug:

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Live. Dream. Forget.
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:spidey: PrayingForRain :batman:
*goodcitizen:icongoodcitizen: Oct 25, 2006, 6:57:43 PM
Your art and style are so gorgeous, unique, and surreal! I really love it... I hope you keep it up because I would love to see more. :heart:
~Deathness72:iconDeathness72: Oct 16, 2006, 8:37:09 AM
Ah, I don't really like the Navy. I do like my job for the Navy, though. I get to take pictures and write stories. Basically, I've got a really easy means of financing my future. Also, it's going to help pay for school. Just something to occupy my time while I get my head on straight and save up money.

How are you liking "Nu Yorque"?

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Figaro Filth.
~littledormy:iconlittledormy: Oct 14, 2006, 5:51:44 PM
Right! I think I also knew where you were. But you know... memory . Harsh mistress.
I think after having Terri art school will always fall short. She was capable of doing what most art teachers believe is impossible. Which is how to make anything you do work. And to be fearless.
But tell me do you like the Navy?

--
We create because we were created.
We die to avoid stagnation.
~Deathness72:iconDeathness72: Oct 13, 2006, 10:21:19 PM
Why did I think you were at Evergreen? Terri said you were over in New York with Mike Ricca. My mind is leaving me slowly...

Anyway, what you mentioned about SVA is about exactly what Cornish felt like. I hated that school. I'm not there anymore. I'm in the Navy now, drawing when I've got a free moment, painting when I have several free moments.

Set design stuff? That's really cool. I have an interest in becoming a spare body part sculptor for films. Like in Reqium for a Dream with Jared Letto's arm. Yeah. That would be the coolest job.

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Figaro Filth.
~littledormy:iconlittledormy: Oct 13, 2006, 8:07:33 PM
Meh, I don't like most of the work that's on here right now. I wish I had a scanner.

Your stuff looks amazing tho. You going into comic books/graphic novels? Your an incredible inker.

I'm in New York going to the School of Visual Arts. I am hoping to transfer next year tho. Perhaps to Evergreen or perhaps head up to Boston.

I don't like SVA, I feel like I'm constantly fighting to learn and you just shouldn't feel like that at a school.

I'm studying illustration. My pet project right now is a story called Dust Bunnies (a working title) its kind of a Neil Gaiman like childrens story. I want to get into mixed media, like Dave Mckean's work.

Other than that I've been making posters, props, set pieces, backdrops, for theater type things.

What about you?

What where and who for you?

--
We create because we were created.
We die to avoid stagnation.
~Deathness72:iconDeathness72: Oct 13, 2006, 5:09:23 AM
You're really building up your portfolio! It's good to see you're on here, too. How's life? What are you up to? Are you at Evergreen?

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Figaro Filth.
~Tiznaught:iconTiznaught: Apr 8, 2006, 1:17:09 PM
yeeess, we must kidnap Lil :D
~pearlzenith:iconpearlzenith: Mar 27, 2006, 5:34:42 PM
I also must work this summer. It will be easier this time, but not necessarily more pleasant. Anique and I will be doing some postering, as well. whoo.

I don't get back until May 15th, I think. :/

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When morning wraps the world in mist...
~littledormy:iconlittledormy: Mar 26, 2006, 9:02:46 PM
I wouldn't debate it. I'm home May 3rd. I have to get a job and I have to take art history class but yeah... that will not get in my way of life.

I miss you too, Love.

--
We create because we were created.
We die to avoid stagnation.
~pearlzenith:iconpearlzenith: Mar 22, 2006, 2:40:51 AM
I miss you so fucking much. I want to kidnap you this summer.

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When morning wraps the world in mist...
~littledormy:iconlittledormy: Mar 6, 2006, 10:14:17 PM
neat, I look forward to it. :pacman: I had no idea they had pacman emotions... *happy*

--
We create because we were created.
We die to avoid stagnation.
~BADLsK:iconBADLsK: Mar 5, 2006, 8:17:47 AM
I will return to you with the list of ways of how your works have inspired and amazed me.
~Jinxa:iconJinxa: Dec 19, 2005, 11:11:38 AM
YOU HAVE BEEN HUGGED!

Spread dA love around!
Copy and paste this message as indicated hereunder.

RULES:
1- You can hug the same person who hugged you.
2- You must hug at least six (6) other people you know or are your friends.
3- Random hugs are perfectly okay so try to hug another six (6) random deviants.
4- Paste hugs on user pages. Hugging is a public show of affection.
5- Only one hug per person is allowed. Otherwise you have to start all over again.
6- Get started right away.

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I forever pledje loyalty to [link]

98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who is sick and tired of seeing the '98% of the teenage population do these things, copy and paste this into
~pearlzenith:iconpearlzenith: Dec 3, 2005, 3:44:51 PM
Darn it. It mad a mad face for what was supposed to be a giddy face. :(
It was supposed to be XD

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When morning wraps the world in mist...
~pearlzenith:iconpearlzenith: Dec 3, 2005, 3:43:21 PM
I got the package. :hug: It made me SO incredibly happy when I opened it, and the tiger lillies immediately went up on my wall by the pictures you has sent me before, Salome, Mucha's seasons, and the photographs I took of you and Kendra my senior year.
And then the dolls...HMG. :XD I was so giddy. Thank you for *everything.* I had an interesting Thanksgiving, but it would have been better if I had come to visit you. :hug:

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When morning wraps the world in mist...
~pearlzenith:iconpearlzenith: Nov 13, 2005, 12:28:09 PM
I'll see what happens, and I'll let you know. :hug:

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When morning wraps the world in mist...
~littledormy:iconlittledormy: Nov 12, 2005, 10:43:53 PM
well you are welcome to come here!! if you want to and if you can.
My granpa is making pumpkin cheese cake which is the best in the world
: )

--
We create because we were created.
We die to avoid stagnation.
~pearlzenith:iconpearlzenith: Nov 10, 2005, 9:22:46 PM
I really don't know what I'm doing for thanksgiving/my birthday. I think I'm going to spend it with relatives, but haven't gotten in contact with them yet.

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When morning wraps the world in mist...